i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Come on in and take your pants off
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