the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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