He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Randomize
