Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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