you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize
