I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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