i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
