I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
If I die, sorry about rent.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
