i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
