im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
