The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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