hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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