Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
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