so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Randomize
