amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
