apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
