i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
