Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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