Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Randomize