I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
