Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I got inside last night via doggy door
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
