We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
