let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
