Old men and throwing up are my life now.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
