Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
