The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
