I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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