nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize