This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I smell like Dick and happiness
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
