dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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