am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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