Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
