you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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