i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
