do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
i dont even know how to be here
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
