if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
