There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
