Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
