The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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