hell yes lets make some ravioli
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
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