More tranny stories later!
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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