Will you blow on my dice?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
