If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
