Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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