I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
