I don't think brook has ever known best
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
