is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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