Your tits are I can't wait for
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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