I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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