There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
