I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize