i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Randomize
