dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
