I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
