You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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