garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
