I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Randomize
