theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
