i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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