I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
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