I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
