Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize