am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
