What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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