I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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