you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
