I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
