never play flip cup with pint glasses
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
