We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
