You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
