Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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