At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
