He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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