I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
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