Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
